What you want vs what you got

Sometimes life doesn't go as we want. Kadang apa yang kita mimpikan itu tidak sesuai dengan kemampuan. Atau sebenarnya kita hanya terlalu takut utuk mengambil resiko, afraid to get hurt and fail.
Yeah, simpelya sering disebut "terlalu pengecut", atau kebanyakan orang tua bilang "realistis".

Dulu sekali aku pernah bermimpi selesai SMA jadi desainer, tetapi desainer nggak menjamin kesuksesan dan baru sadar kalo aku nggak bakat gambar *jderr. Oke, mimpi jadi desainer tercoretlah dari diary. Kemudian pernah juga mimpi buka butik korean street fashion, tetapi berhubung nggak ada modal jadi tercoretlah lagi mimpi itu. Kenyataannya, aku kuliah. LOL.

Nah disini aku juga pernah bermmpi kuliah di sastra jepang, atau bahasa jepang atau jejepangan lah pokoknya, secara waktu itu lagi gila-gilanya jejepangan. Tapi, kata orang tua (bapak ibuk) mending cari kuliah yang banyak ilmu sainsnya biar jurusan IPA mu nggak terbuang percuma ilmunya. Aku pun manggut-manggut, okee aku mau jadi dokter!! Sebenernya motif pengen jadi dokter ku itu benar-benar dangkal sekali, cuma pengen nanti pekerjaannya enak, dapet uangnya juga enak. Well, I'm ashamed of myself. LOL. Untung deh beneran nggak jadi dokter, mau jadi dokter kayak apa aku nanti. And finally, here I'm. I'm a chemical engineerig student yang sekarang sedang mencari jati diri (cieeh), but I think I figure out what I want  in the future. What I want ku ini sesuai dengan What I've Got jadi jangan khawatir. hoho. Keep fighting guys!

When I grow up..

I'm 20 now and on May I'll turn 21. Kinda sad, feels like I'm not ready yet becoming and adult. But wait? Even I dont know whats the difference between adult and kid. -__-. If being an adult means having responsibility, I think I've been an adult, but yeah dont know either..

When I grow up and becomes a 20 year old girl ( or woman I suppose), I started to think and worry about what will I do a year after this, 2 year after this and next and next years. Have I ready to face the world I'll be in after I graduate from college, what will I do to make my parents at least not to worry so much about me and to give them a happy and comfortable old time. Well, I'm still thinking and thinking, but yeah thinking too much is troublesome, better do what I can do now right?

So, keep fighting guys!
Just a note from a growing up girl ( I kinda not liking the word "woman" LOL)